Ryan Leaf has made a long journey from star to addict to helping others
SANTA MONICA, Calif. -- During his football years at Washington State University, there was a joke around campus: What’s the difference between God and Ryan Leaf? God doesn’t think he’s Ryan Leaf.
“I thought it was hilarious because it was this narcissistic way of looking at things,” said Leaf. “For someone who was emotionally stunted as I was, that can go to your head pretty quickly, and of course, we’ve seen how it carried itself out.”
Leaf has lived a life as a football phenom, a NFL dud, drug addict and criminal. Now he said he is using those failures to help others succeed.
Five years sober, Leaf sat in his office at Transcend Recovery Community in Santa Monica and said for the first time in his life, he’s in service to others.
“It’s like being given this great gift, and then you give it away,” said Ryan on his recovery. “Once you find the acceptance and the surrender part of this program you have to give back. That’s how you maintain it.”
Leaf has come a long way since 2012 when he relapsed on opioids for a second time.
Leaf said he would get pills any way he could, including swiping pills from cabinets at open houses. When he couldn’t get pills to make his feelings go away, he felt like there was no other way out.
“I took a knife into the bathroom and slit my wrists,” said Leaf. “Luckily it didn’t take.”
Shortly thereafter, Leaf was sentenced to seven years in prison after being convicted of burglarizing homes and stealing prescription pills. He served 32 months and emerged clean, motivated by a desire to be of service.
“If I can get clean and if I can be a contributor to society and be an honest person, then that’s a miracle,” said Leaf. “If you feel bad about yourself, it helps to go out and be of service to someone else and come home and feel good about where you are at in life.”
When he was released from prison Leaf needed a job, so he wrote his first resume and submitted it to Transcend. His first paying job off the gridiron? A truck driver for the sober living community.
“Initially it was just about Ryan coming to work for us,” said Transcend CEO Asher Gottesman. “He’s really become an inspiration to others. He’s used all this crap that was in his life and made lemonade out of lemons.”
Ryan is now a sober living ambassador working with Gottesman and others at Transcend to address the stigma that comes with addiction.
“For people who are out there who see addiction as bad or as an immoral decision, I feel bad for them,” said Gottesman. “The judgment is just hurting them.”
Leaf said he’s not perfect and admits he makes mistakes, but now he has a community to keep him in check.
“It’s a lot harder to do the right thing and be accountable and admit when you’re wrong,” said Leaf. “Life isn’t fair. It’s how you deal with it that matters.”
(If you know someone who needs help with addiction, you can contact Transcend Recovery Community here.)
